This post is kind of emo and may be annoying but I had to write it because I've been thinking about it for too long.
I worked a lot... past 4 months
Starting to question why I'm even earning money... just to spend em away again
But I like the new dress I got from a vintage shop last weekend...
I always wanted a shoulder strap since i was young(that's why my oc wears one) but was never allowed to wear it because my parents thought it looked out of date. but i look cool in it. so i bought it with my money.
I also wanted certain type of skirt but couldn't find one, which made me frustrated, so here's a vent comic.
(later i searched and found out that they're called culottes, or skirt pants, but still they're not skirts. i wear skirts not just to look good but also to feel the cool wind, which pants can't achieve, so that's still a bummer for me.)
oh and i saw a scenegirl? emo? at a metro station. it was just surreal. to see a 2025's korean dressed like that.
my old fl studio files, which i've thought were long gone, actually existed.(in retrospect i think i passed that folder thinking it was also flash file)
look how old they are.
some of them i don't even remember making it.
would it still be alright to call em 'mine'?
most of them are unfinished and just a bundle of patterns made with steinway piano lite.
i thought they sucked at one point but now i'm emotionally detached with them.
ironically now i could 'show them off' to my irl family and friends.
i thought no longer being ashamed of something i made was a process of 'nostalgializing' 'growing up' but now i can't help but think as if i've become a neglectful parent to my spoiled children who need education and care.
DELTARUNE CHAPTER 3+4 SPOILER AHEAD!!
(maybe you should've played it by now, but i'll be thoughtful because it's not even a month old yet.)
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this scene in particular made me too emotional.
naw the entire 3+4 theme did.
I used to cut out printed illustrations and play make-believe with them.
I wrote letters to fairies.
Deltarune reminded me of them.
And I realized I still haven't figured out what to do with that information. Do I forget them? Do I go back to search for desires that have already been burnt out?
Umm... I'll just do what I want to do at the moment!