Few days ago it was my birthday. I’m 21, hooray….

so… it was surprising to me that so many friends celebrated and gave me presents. I never openly talked about my birthday but the date being shown on the profile just triggered that.

for a long while i didn’t really want to be or was celebrated in birthdays except for my parents. In retrospect i was isolated and bullied for some times when i was in 6th grade and didn’t dare to approach any of the classmates to make any friends at all until 11th grade, when i met a few great friends who i still contact with. Even after making new friends i wasn’t really open about my birthday. I even have gone far enough to actively denying of anyone know about it, hiding my birthday in social accounts when it’s the default, etc. despite still celebrating and writing friends letters…, making excuses like ‘it’s finals week anyways, i don’t mind it.’

After i entered college i finally decided to get rid of that persona and actively interacted with people. So i think that’s when i set my birthday public to mutuals after a friend, after i gave them birthday present, strongly insisted that i do so.

I actually kind of cried at night that day for i no longer was a child who was weird and alone and ignored. But since that day is far gone in the past, and i’m 21, i think it’s about time i let it go and focus more on the future.